1/28/2010

A Tribute to My Mother in Law

The holiday season was very difficult for John and I and both our families.  It all went by in such a blur.
On Dec 18th My mother in law,  Norma Jean, who I lovingly called "Mom" was diagnosed with stage 4  lung cancer.. Being a heaving smoker since she was 14, she was not surprised.  She had such a great attitude when she got the news.  She wanted to die at home, she wanted to be out of pain an she wanted a lot more laughing instead of crying.
We were able to give her all the above in the most loving manner possible. 
Norma died Jan 17th, 29 days after her initial diagnosis.
As mother in laws go, we have had our differences over the past 39 years---but they were  far and above not that significant in the overall scheme of life.
Shortly before she died I was laying on her bed with her and we were talking 'honest'.  She wanted me to forgive her for hurting me at times.

It was so easy to say it didn't matter because it didn't matter to me.  What mattered was the best death I could give her.  Her kids all worked so I was there during the day and the last week at night as well.

One of her daughters and another sister in law and myself would all work together to get her all bathed every night.  WE LAUGHED SO HARD.....................all her inhibitions were gone due to her morphine and it was a hoot.

Three days after Norma was diagnosed, my mother was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer.  She has always been a non smoker along with my own father.
The dr wanted us all to see her before she died.  Myself and 5 other siblings flew to hawaii on christmas day to get there in time. My parents own a condo there and winter there all winter.
I was there for two weeks then came home to tend to Norma.  I still have siblings there helping with her care.
They have now done more tests and aren't sure what is going on with her lungs. 

So we are praying for answers and care that will help her feel better.

John's mom is survived by 5 of her 6 children, Dad, and her 82 yr old twin sister.
I am so blessed to have had her in my life.  She has been more of a mother to me as an adult  than my own mother could.
So miss NORMA JEAN  where ever you are  here I am thanking the good Lord for you in my life all these years with your amazing son.
I LOVE YOU
 Can you say 'identical"  ha

6 comments:

Rayanna said...

You made me cry. I have a wonderful Mother-in-law myself. She is known to me as Mom and she too have been a huge signifigance in my life. Without her, I don't think I would have the patience to deal with my father-in-law (Known to me as Dad too), LOL.

Paula said...

Oh Catie! I'm so sorry for your loss and for your Mom's illness. Sometimes it seems that your handed more than you can take. I wish I could give you a big hug.
xoxox

vivian said...

wow Catie thats a lot to deal with all at once and over the holidays. I pray they can figure out what exactly is wrong with your mom and find a way to keep her strong for as long as possible!
Hugs to you!
vivian

Dawn said...

That is such a wonderful tribute to your mum...
I am blessed with 2 wonderful MIL's and my own mum is still alive.
My FIL is not too good at the moment, so I am being as supportive as I can of my husband and ring Spain everyday to support my MIL, Charlie my wonderful FIL has dementia so isn't aware that I am calling most times, and this has just happened in the course of 6 months, totally scary and sad xxx

God bless you all and treasure your obvious wonderful memories xxx

peggy gatto said...

What a special tribute! I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
You are a good daughter.
A few tears were shed while reading this.

Diana Meade said...

I can't help leaving a comment. I am sorry for your loss and for your mothers illness. Such a lot all at one time and I wish for you comfort and peace.